Concerning Plumbing /27 Apr 2016/

Let’s start this page with a bit of detour.

Every time someone asks me what I would have done if I hadn’t got into this whole software biz, I say baker.

While it’s not actually true I generally like the idea of baking nice things that look and smell and taste awesome. It sounds very Zen to me. Chances are my idea of baking as a trade is a fairly naive one but I don’t let anyone ruin the image for me.

But here I am, wading knee-deep in code and infrastructure. All day, every day.

Generally speaking, I’m enjoying it a lot. Most of the time. When things work. And then when things don’t work, I hammer them into submission. with a pitchfork.

At this point, the attentive reader might have made a mental note about pitchforks not being notoriously effective as hammers. If you don’t see why, look up a pitchfork on google.

Everyone who has something to do with the tech industry understands this whole “using weird tools for the job” and “duct taping everything” shenanigans so I’m not going to elaborate on it.

As a then new colleague of mine said after a few weeks of trying to get to terms with BOSH and deployments and containers, “Feels like I have to build this intricate structure out of Lego bricks that don’t fit together.”

I couldn’t even respond. I just raised my eyebrows and said to myself “He knows.”

In this world everything is a bit broken. Sometimes very obviously broken, sometimes only subtly so. If it’s not broken in some way then it probably failed to start.

In this world I am an engineer and I fix things a plumber and I unclog things.

Welcome to my world, my wonderful world!

(To fully appreciate the last line, watch this rather good animation)